Half way there.

Today is day 6 of our 11 day wait. So far, so good. I have stopped researching everything I could possibly get my hands on about FETs and implantation. Everyone's symptoms and stories are so different, it is just not helping. I remain calm and collective but it is on my mind more often than not. I don't think or day dream of anything in particular but I do find myself wishing the time would speed up a bit. But then I make myself stop and try to enjoy the moment. Especially if we have a negative result, I want to be able to recall this time of waiting. I don't want it to be just a week of fog.

I spoke with my nurse yesterday regarding medications. I'm about to have to reorder more and wanted a good idea of how much more to order. I was told that I should look forward to another approximately 4 weeks of progesterone shots. This is not so exciting to hear but it's doable. At least it's a light at the end of the tunnel. And if I'm receiving that many shots, it means I'm pregnant! She also mentioned that if I have a positive pregnancy test on Wednesday, then on May 20th, I will be 5 weeks pregnant already.

This weekend will FLY by as we are catering to Maddie and her many, many activities of choir club and ballet recitals. There is Mother's Day on Sunday and then we will get through two more days before Wednesday's blood draw. My life could change more so than I can even imagine at this time. I think I have a good grasp on what I will feel with a negative result. Been there, done that. However, I don't think I can comprehend what I might feel if I do become pregnant.

I read a blog the other day about an infertile woman's perspective of Mother's Day. She described how hard it was for her and talked about how bitter she would be. She talked about the years of pain she would suffer on this day and even shared a very sad poem. I felt sorry for her. She had not figured out that she could be a positive influence on so many! She apparently doesn't have 3 step children to give her loves and encouragment on that day. I'm tempted to send her the article I read in April's issue of the Ensign entitled My Search for Motherhood. The article was really nothing that's never been said before but it was inspiring and encouraging. I'll admit I've had strong emotions on Mother's Day for many years. But these emotions are most definately love and appreciation for all of the wonderful mothers in my life, including my own sweet momma. Any negative feelings I have are embarassment for not being able to conceive. I know that sounds ridiculous but it's all too true.

Mother's Day is just another day, but does give us an opportunity to think about and thank those women who have influenced us in a positive way. Yesterday was Nurses' Day and I received a few gifts and an amazing amount of special "birthday" wishes from our Kindergarten kiddos. Ha! They were clueless, but wanted so badly to express their excitement for me. It doesn't really matter what the wishes are and where they come from, but how I choose to let them make me feel.